Patience is a virtue, but it can also feel like torture at times. This is one of the fruits of the spirit that I have to pray harder for, especially when it comes to timing.
I recently joined the 30’s club and as I have left my twenties I have been reflecting on who I am today compared to where I thought I would be. It’s like the question you get asked in an interview; “Where do you think you will be in 10 years?” If you had asked me in my twenties, it definitely would not have come up with where God has placed me today, which is a great thing. That's how God works though, if you let Him. You first have to give Him all of your desires and your hopes for the future and then wait. With time He begins to show you His desires and passion for your life.
One of my biggest battles with God is the timing of when I will get married and start having kids. This has been a dream of mine since I was a little girl and one that I have loudly communicated to God several times. Over the years I have seen my friends and family get married and start their own families, and I have stayed single. In my early to mid twenties, this began to be a source of great frustration and pain for me. I have a tendency to be self-reliant, and in my mind I was trying to manipulate things I wanted from God through worrying about them. I was wasting my wait time. Instead of seeing this time as an opportunity to draw closer to God and to lean on Him when I was having doubts, worries and fears, I was becoming more frustrated and inwardly focused on my unanswered prayers and making myself miserable.
An amazing song that I have heard that has spoken to me during my time of waiting is called “Take Courage” by Kristene DiMarco. The lyrics state “ Take courage my heart, stay steadfast, my soul, He’s in the waiting.” When I heard this song, the lyrics hit home for me. Once I stopped focusing on what I didn’t have and started seeking God through the pain, I started to feel a new peace and joy that I didn’t have before. Even though there can be pain, jealousy, and frustration in waiting for God to answer your prayers, there is great comfort and peace in knowing the character of God. As I have been able to spend time with the Lord, I have learned I can trust Him with my prayers and hopes and that He truly wants what’s best for me. I also feel assured that He has placed me exactly where He wants me to be. As He continues to unfold my life, I am amazed of how much better His plans for me are than anything that I have come up with on my own. I still struggle wanting to go back into autopilot and let my flesh takeover, but I have found peace in the waiting for the things my heart desires through praying and asking for God’s will, not my will to be done.
It does take courage to follow a life after Christ and to lay your hopes and dreams at His feet daily, and honestly some days I don’t want to give over my desires. On those days, one of the verses that has given me strength and encouragement and that is currently posted on my office wall is Joshua 1:9 “Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” I encourage you, if you are waiting on something right now, to not waste your wait time. Take time right where you are to seek God and be honest with him about your hopes and desires. He’s already there, waiting for you.